Thursday, 5 February 2009

No. More. Lies.

"Integrity is telling myself the truth.  And honesty is telling the truth to other people."
~Spencer Johnson

People lie.

Some people are so caught up in the habit of lying, they do not even realize they are doing it and haven't a clue that their lies are so transparent and the truth is so, uhm, true, that people around them usually pick up on the lie in the moment.

Lies aren't pretty and the people that have the habit build a big, huge, ugly alienating wall around themselves.  In fact, how can you relax and enjoy life when you are constantly deluded by the world you have created around yourself.

This can take on very pathological proportions.  The person with the habit of lying can be confronted with the real issues, real evidence in front of them and yet continue to lie as if saying their deluded belief or writing long enough about it will suddenly turn it into truth.

This is a horribly sad and anxiety provoking life.  Many people that pathologically lie have narcissistic traits as discussed in last week's post.  After all, how can you perpetuate so much twisting and inventing of facts unless you dwell in a belief system that has you existing on a higher plain than the mere peons you are habitually lying to?

If you habitually lie, even little lies: Stop It.  

It will eventually destroy you and your life and your relationships.  If you can't break the habit, then seek help.  Hopefully if you lie you are not so wrapped up in that component of your functioning that you have deluded even yourself into believing the untruths and you have an ability to see the need for change.

M. Scott Peck the renowned author of The Road Less Travelled wrote an excellent follow up book: People of the Lie.  He adeptly describes the inherent evil that is perpetuated by lies and the people that refuse to acknowledge their aberrant behavior. 

His premises are:

1. The evil hide their motives with lies.
2. Evil people want to appear to be good.
3. When confronted by evil, the wisest and most secure adult will usually experience confusion.
4. Evil seeks to discourage others to think for themselves (fosters dependency).
5. To oppose evil we must have an ongoing dedication to reality at all cost.

Note number 3.  That is why you feel that way if you have a pathological liar in your life.  

Do Good ~ Avoid Evil = strive for honestly in action, word and deed.

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