Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Absence of Guilt- J Michael Bone, PhD

Watch this short video to hear of a very sad but very true phenomenon that can happen with Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome.

I've seen this happen personally in a situation with people very, very dear to me and I've seen it in my professional life as a post-judgment custody mediator and psychotherapist.

It is this type of extreme we'd like to help parents avoid by learning from your stories-- the good, the bad and the otherwise. If you would answer a few questions from the perspective of a parent who has divorced or if you were a child of divorce, please drop us a line at and put DIVORCE in the subject area.

Keep. Kids. First.

Friday, 24 September 2010

Dr. Phil & Pay it Forward

This is a follow-up from another post on a site where I had appealed for feedback if you had children and experienced divorce or were a child of divorce to help Jill and I on a project we have started:

Just a follow-up to the latest announcement I made on my last post where I had to be discreet pre Dr. Phil.  My co-author of the book project we are working on to help children with divorce appeared as an expert on Dr. Phil which was taped last week when I happened to be in California so I was able to go to the taping.  She's a victim of parental alienation, as is someone extremely close to me (and many people I have worked with during my long career in human services),  as well as president of an association to increase awareness and improve legislation re. parental alienation-- Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting Awareness Organization.

Jill did a great job as an expert on the show and Dr. Phil did a respectable job telling these parents the straight scoop regarding putting their children's needs first.  Unfortunately after contacting 170 people Jill could NOT get 2 parents that are truly experiencing Parental Alienation Syndrome to come in and 5 court injunctions were place preventing the non-alienating parent from ever speaking to media at all.  Obviously that goes with the narcissistic personalities that find themselves entitled enough to consistently be so "right" that they can actually alienate their child from a loving parent that they were once in love enough with to spawn these pawns in their sad, sordid games.

Once again we want to hear stories from all sides so if you are willing to answer 3 quick questions (4 if you happen to also be a child of divorce) email us at

And please pay it forward. Share our request to others you know that have gone through divorce to help the children.

Keep.  Children.  First. 

Monday, 6 September 2010

I Love Gay

This morning I woke up thinking: I love Gay.  Mind you, I haven't always loved Gay, but that was only because I was young and ignorant and didn't know Gay.  I brought my children up to respect diversity and so they are lovers of Gay as well.  It was a bit disconcerting when my oldest went through a period of calling things "so gay" and it didn't always mean a good thing; of course I took the bait and admonished her with heartfelt lectures.  Soon after I heard a gay friend calling something "so gay," I decided to ignore my daughter's slips and sure enough, that "faze" passed quickly; she is the first to stand up for discrimination.  But why do I love Gay so, you may ask?  Gay to me means freedom and creativity and love and pride and strength and individuality.  Think about it. There are still a lot of closeted people out there and once a person has the balls to step forward and say, "hey, I'm gay," what else have they got to lose?  So out comes, not only their ability to live their sexuality, but their bravery, their passion about life, their ability to perform or create art, their hidden passions, their love and yes, their despise for seeing the oppressed further discriminated against, compassion, their connection to a divine that accepts them as they are, and FUN that can only come with not being constrained by societal norms and "shoulds." After all, if you've had to hold in a secret that you thought would cause you to lose your peace of mind, or maybe even your life if it came out, and you let it out, and survivewhat have you got to lose?  I love when coming out opens up the doors to let people be everything so many self-restricted Straights wish they could let themselves be: writers, performing artists, sports enthusiasts, lovers of life, simply themselves, real and true.  We can all learn from that bravery and the human potential that comes from being honest with ourselves and others. Right on Gay (GLBT).  I love you!

Friday, 3 September 2010

End of Summer

photo by Sebastian Jennison

      Leaves begin to curl as if a lit match has gently graced their edges.  
      Squirrels prance in waning grass with finds as large as their heads, weighing their bodies down as they scamper up the trees.  
      A redbird flirts with me just outside my window hinting at the change he feels in the air.  
      A hawk with a wingspan the size of my six year old dives in the yard; he is surely looking for the chipmunks that have scurried with abandon the past few days beginning their storage for upcoming seasons.
      Once dignified annuals and perennials droop to bid a fond adieu while pleading for their lives, “get yourself organized-quick-and find a place for me indoors,” they seem to be telling me (that is not likely I sadly think to them).  
      The sun shines bright and steams my skin while simultaneously a slight chill in the breeze whispers of fall's impending arrival.  
      Eyes itch, mucus drips, colds arrive heralding that the healing sun is deciding a respite is needed as plants are releasing their death-dander.  
      Children sense the difference in the atmosphere and incessantly inquire, “when will it be snowing?” “what is the next season?” “how much longer can we swim in the lake?” I want to say forever
      I want to live where death does not come seasonly and our world does not freeze over.  
     Then I am reminded, if not for death, how would we learn the blessed lesson of rebirth?