Friday, 15 October 2010

Don't Let the Miserable People Get You Down: helpful hints

Today I was awakened to a reminder of just how wonder-full life is . . . unfortunately it came at the expense of being reminded of someone else's misery.

Here is a friendly reminder of a few pointers to help you deal with difficult people you run into in your life; we all have them.

For some people their difficulty is pathological: such an inbred trait that they are beyond recognizing how difficult they are or having any ability to change.

For others it is a conscious choice~ they delight in the game of trying to see others become as miserable as themselves and will go to no end to perpetuate drama and exhibit control.

Rule number 1:  Don't let that person succeed in making you miserable.  Keep your focus.  Keep your sanity.  Keep your eye on the greater good.

Other reminders follow:

  • Always remember "it is not about you."  Miserable people are miserable whether they are attempting to cause drama in your life or not.  It really has nothing to do with you.

  • Do not stoop to a difficult person's level.  Trust me, I know how tempting it is to try to reason or make a point but remind yourself that if a person is pathologically difficult they will never hear you and will only enjoy attempting to draw out drama.

  • Adjust your expectations to NEVER expect a rational response from the difficult person.  Consider that the person has severe issues, mental illness or a disability just as if they were in a wheel chair and unable to walk, but in their case it is their brain and personality and ability to relate to others in a reasonable manner that is disabled.

  • Limit your involvement with a difficult person.  When you burn your hand on the iron, do you walk back and say, hmmmm, that hurt, I'd like to do that again?  (if so there are other issues and that's another column!)

  • If there are children involved remember you can only control yourself and make it a priority to Keep. Kids. First.   . . .  and say a little prayer or send positive energy to them for the times they have to deal with the difficult person.

  • And never forget what a wonderful gift inner peace and living in harmony with others is and surround yourself with positive people and enjoy every minute possible!


  1. This is very helpful. I got here via the SARK posting and stayed to explore. I really enjoyed this particular post and may have to blog about it!

  2. Thanks Lani. I'm glad you found it helpful!

  3. Wow! Just what I been needing to hear for years and years. I got here via Sark also. You are an amazing person. You just never know how much this blog meant to me. My difficult person tried her very best to ruin our Thanksgiving yesterday. She, however, did not succeed. My husband and our children has healed from years of letting her oppress me. I allowed her to ruin our lives for years, but we are completely healed now and for that words are inadequate.

  4. Thanks so much y-y. I'm so happy that post found you and validated where you are at! It was a topic that resonated with a lot of my FaceBook folks too; seems to be a topic everyone can relate to you. Happiest of Thanksgiving weekends to you and continued peace and ability to rise above the chaos!